Monday, July 26, 2010

Silence of the Lamb

Previously published in Myspace dated Tuesday, July 24, 2007

"Silence of the lamb", is when Jodie Foster keep hearing the noises from the lambs from something that happen to her during her childhood. The noises from the lamb are just annoying noises in her head, and she will hear them when she's alone, awoke in the middle of the night... feeling scared. The noises disappeared after she defeated her own self, her own demon...

But this lamb is different. This lamb got silenced after being defeated by life experience...

There we are, sitting in the mamak stall having teh tarik. I seldom had personal conversation with two ladies at the same time, but that evening was different. She don't mind pouring her heart out in front of of me and another person. I guess, she kept it for so long that it just have to burst.

"I just stayed with him because of the kids. We are like strangers who happen to live together..", she said with a gloomy face. She looked sad during the whole conversation. The other lady friend just kept quiet, drinking her teh tarik.

She has been married for many years. She even has kids in secondary school and yes, she was talking about her hubby.

"My hubby was out of job in 1997. At that times, I was struggling to make ends meet. Both of us was struggling, but I was working days and nighs between 2 jobs to make our family survive. At that time, my hubby stayed home, jobless."

I nodded occationally. I looked into her watery eyes, and sometimes looked at the other lady. She was just listening too... I guess, both of us just want to let her pour it out.

"Then one day, I looked at myself in the reflection of a display-window of the Pertama Shoppling complex. I was so sad looking at myself. Walk in slippers so that I can walk fast. Wear shabby baju kurung coz I couldn't care less of what I wear. I really looked many years older than my age. I told myself, I will change. I must change..."

"I worked hard. I grabbed all the opportunity to make extra money. Insurance, MLM... you name it, I did it. At the same time, I was trying to get a job for my hubby too. Finally, we get out of the hole, at least that's what I thought..."

I was sipping my teh tarik, still looking into her eyes... "What happen after that?", I asked.

"He has been completely change. He never spoke to me anymore. Many times I confronted him, let's forget for what had happen. He should not feel bad or ashamed about what had happen during those years. Many people faced the same situation too, but we must move on. But he don't want to talk at all. Talking to him is like talking to... urrrrggghhhhh!!!", she just can't continue her sentence. I knew what she meant.

"Was he always like that, I mean, since the beginning of your marriage?", I asked.

"No. It was after he went into that hole with his business that he changed. He don't care about the family. He don't care about me. I feel that I'm running the family alone. We can pass by in our own house, rubbing shoulder but no eyes contact...!", her eyes was watery. I know she would cry should it were not because of all the people around us.

Emotional scar is something hard to see, difficult to detect and most people just don't even know that it exist, let alone to heal it. The problem with the hubby is that he don't know that he has a problem, or he think that the world has a problem, not him. He's like a broken tape recorder playing the same verse of song over-and-over again, neither stopping nor moving forward. He has stuck in his painful past, unable to move forward with his life. He probably didn't feel anything, not even the pain of his wife and children. One person get the scar, and everyone else around him get the pain.

"So what are you doing now?", I asked.

"I've stop trying. I gave up with him years ago. If he want to change, he has to change himself. For me, my kids have grown up. Every Friday is my own-time day. I'll go out after work, meet friends and catch up with life. I'll probably went home late nite, but he won't even care. So why should I. We never talk at home anyway. He may want to get stuck in his hole forever, but I want to live". Yup, that was Friday night when we had that conversation.

"Hmmmm... The first thing he has to do is open his mouth and talk.", I said, smiling, sipping my teh tarik.

"Yeah, the only time he'll talk to me is when he need some money. Even for that, he never said thanks.", she said.

When anyone tell me of their marital problem, I'll encourage them to talk it out with their spouse. Sometimes, I'll suggest what to say, how to say it, how or where to start the conversation. The key point is to talk. Conversation need to happen so that the problem can be well understood by both sides.

In her case, when concersation has died to the point of no return, nothing much can be done. She can talk all day to her hubby, but talking to a brick wall would be less painful...

"I don't even want to ask about your sexual life", I said after a long silence, smiled.

She returned my smile and said, "That already gone sooo long ago..."

"Is that how you get closed to your current boyfriend?", I asked.

"Yeah...", she said, smiling again...

Hmmm... Now that's another story....


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sexual Relation Extreme II - The Wife

Previously published in Myspace dated Monday, July 09, 2007

We were still having our drinks. Both of us were not saying anything. I guess, we were still thinking about that story of the hubby who can't get his dick up with his wife. Contrary to popular believes, man's dick do not have a mind of it's own. It won't simply stand up in the sight of a naked woman.

Then my lady friend broke the silence. "Another guy friend told me that his wife can't feel any pleasure when having sex, that she just being cold with sex. Most times, she will reject his advance for sex. She won't accept the idea of variation during sex, so they will only do one sexual position which is the missionary position."

I raised my eye-brow. "Maybe something wrong with him. Perhaps he did not do it right. Afterall, he's the captain of his vessel. Perhaps he simply don't know how to stir his vessel towards the horizon", I said, smiling.

"That's exactly what he thought...", my lady friend said. "He thought perhaps there is something wrong with him that his wife can't feel any pleasure during sex, until he had an affair with another woman. Then he knew that he is normal." I raised my eye-brow again.

"Having an affair because of curiosity of his own sexual performance? I know a lot of man do just that for that very same reason.", I said, still smiling. "But why is the wife doesn't like having sex? Any particular reason?", I asked.

"Can't really say the actual reason, but she was brought up with the idea that sex is dirty. Sex is just for human reproduction. When sex is dirty, the pleasure from sex is taken as something which is not a good thing. So I guess, she just shut her mind off when having sex.", my lady friend made her theory.

Her theory could be right. Again, sex is 90% a mind game. Human have the ability to shut off pain to the point that he won't feel any pain. I guess, the same ability is applicable towards sexual pleasure - shutting off the feeling of sexual pleasure, resulting in undesirable sexual relationship even when with a legally wedded husband.

I finished up my drinks and called it the day. Sex may not the only reason why marriages get broken, but it is definately one of them...

Sexual Relation Extreme I: The Husband

Previously published in Myspace dated Monday, July 09, 2007

The couple is as normal as any couple. In the eyes of their relatives and friends, they looked OK. In the eyes of each other, they are not. Their problem is something they don't want anyone to see... Their problem is deep -- deep in their heart, deep in their bedroom...

They are one of the case of arranged marriage with close relative. For the wife, he is her hubby. For her husband, she is his sister. Yup, that's what he said. That's the reason he gave on why he can't get erection when he is with the wife.

It is not simply just a reason he gave to justify his inability to get erection with his wife. He had an affair and he was able to have sex with his affair. In fact, he actually get her pregnant. He can achieve all those with his affair but not with his wife. His dick can't even stand up.

I was having this conversation with a lady friend when she mentioned this about her guy friend. That guy does pity his wife and he does felt that he should be responsible to fulfill her sexual needs, but he simply can't do it. No matter how sexy she made herself looked like, or how sensual she tried to act, but he can't get his dick up.

The only time his wife able to have sex with him is when he had one of his morning erections. She will just used that opportunity, to ride her hubby towards her sexual satisfaction while he is still half asleep. Forget embarrasment, sexual needs come first.

I told my lady friend, sex is 10% physical and 90% mind game. The guy want to take revenge on his mother for making him to marry someone while he probably already had a girlfriend. Unfortunately his wife become the victim of that revenge instead of his mother. Everytime he think about having sex with his wife, his hate for his mother's decision haunted him. Too bad he can't get over it.

There are a lot of medicine for those who have physical problem with their dick, but no medicine can help with their mind. Some marriage simply should not have happen...


Saturday, July 10, 2010

What Will You Sacrifice For Love?

Previously published in Myspace dated Saturday, May 26, 2007

"I need to talk to someone. Are you free tonight?". That's the SMS I received on Wesnesday. I'm kinda ultra busy this week, that I went home late almost everyday. I didn't wish to go out when I'm too tired, so I have to decline. "Hai. Long time no hear. I'm kinda busy this week. How about Friday night?". She replied with an OK. So I have a date Friday night. Perfect.

I ordered my teh tarik while waiting for her. She arrived not long after, and ordered hers. I haven't met her for quite a while, and she looked as nice as always. "Hai, how's life", I said while she sit down. "I'm OK", she said. "You didn't sound OK a couple of days ago...", I said. She just smile... "I'm OK now..."

Then we started to talk about her work, her daughter, and her family. She is a divorcee with a beautiful daughter. Nothing suggested that those were the things she wanted to talk about when she SMS'ed me last Wednesday. She was going round-and-round, talking about other things instead of the things that really troubled her mind.

"Datuk S contacted me again.", she started. I knew her story about Datuk S. He had tried to lure her into the bed with him, but she politely said no. I always thought that the story ends there. "What about him. He troubled you again?", I asked. "No he didn't. We are just like friends now.", she said. I just looked at her in silence.

"You know I'm seeing someone now, right?", she said. I nodded.

"Long ago, when I was with my ex-boyfriend, he was in trouble. He defaulted his car installment, and was about to loose that car. So I went to Datuk S for help...", she was starring at her glass of teh tarik. "Then Datuk said, I have to give and take. So he took out his cheque book, and signed a thousand ringgit cheque right there and then. I felt so cheap and stupid. Then we went up to the room and had sex."

"Wasn't that your ex-boyfriend who broke up with you for that bohsia from JB, after which you tried to commit suicide?", I asked. I remembered her telling me her story some time ago. After that broke up, she request for a last meeting with that guy. She went to a pharmacy with him and bought a 10 strips of panadol. 10 piece per strip. Then they went to a mamak stall, and she popped all the 100 pieces of panadols in front of him, while he just watched in horror. Then he rushed her to the hospital where she got detoxed and admitted for a couple of weeks. However, they still broke up after that.

"Yup, it was him. He didn't even know where I got the money from. I just gave the money to him, bailing him out of his trouble. But I felt like a prostitute... so cheap... so stupid...", she still starring at her glass of teh tarik. So that's what troubled her since Wednesday. She need to talk to someone about her past, and make peace with herself. I just let her to deal with herself, her past.

"You just did what you think the best at that time, scarificing for something you believed as love. You probably can't think of any other way, but the obligation to help him to relief his pain.", I said, slowly. "While it was indeed very stupid, it is something that had happen in your past. You've learn from it, and had grown up out of it. You don't have to feel so bad now", I said.

"I know. Those episode keep playing in my head too frequently lately, and I just want to stop it. That's why I'm talking to you now. I hope it will stop.", she said. I really don't know how I can stop whatever that played in her head, but I just nodded in silence.

"It is just a memory. A bad memory nevertheless, but just a memory", I said. She nodded.

"Was he good?", I asked.

"Who? Datuk S?".

"Yup... Was he good in bed?", I asked again, with a grin.

"Ha ha ha... Not at all. He got a very small penis, and he had to take viagra before we started... I'm telling you the truth.", she chuckled. "And he's very rough too. He bite, clawed, and did all those rough things. He really don't know how to make love. Ha ha ha... I'll never have sex with him again", she chuckled again. That's the first time I saw her smile that night.

"Well... then there is nothing for you to remember about that past. Forget it and move on", I said. She just took a deep long breath, and exhaled. "Yeah.. I guess so.", she said.

We talked about other things after that, mostly about her current relationship with her new boyfriend. We departed not long after that, leaving me with a lot of thoughts.


Friday, July 9, 2010

Lesson from Grey's Anatomy

Previously published in Myspace dated Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I watch Grey's Anatomy on Channel 70 Astro. The recent episode titled "17 Seconds" was about Denny who is to received a heart, but being beaten by 17 seconds during the donor registration to the guy who in on the top list. As Izzie said, what is a 17-seconds? It is not even enough for a good kiss! How true... A really good kiss can last for hours!

But I'm not writting about Izzie or Denny. I'm writting about George O'Malley and Callie Torres.

In one short scene, last for about 10 seconds, Callie Torres was sitting on a bench with George O'Malley, talking about something. Suddenly, Callie raise her face, looked directly into George's eyes, and say, "I love you". Both of them just stunned for 2 seconds, then Callie tried to backtracked herself, "I'm sorry, you are not going to freak out, are you." George just smile, then come Izzie trying to get George help for something she want to do with Denny.

That 10 seconds scene interest me a lot. I can forget about the whole episode, but I will never forget that 10 seconds scene. It kept playing in my mind like a broken tape recorder...

We all know that George has sex with Callie after that blunder with Meredith. So what's wrong here? Is it expected that if friendship still intact after having sex, love should be there? Callie just say what she feels, which is great. But what if George does not share the same feeling? Should Callie just live with a broken heart?

Oh yeah, it is just Grey's Anatomy. It is not even real. Hmmm... The reason those 10 seconds stuck in my mind was because it is real.

Many months ago, I had a teh-tarik with a lady friend. She wanted to talk to me because she was so confused. She had sex with a guy. It was supposed to be a one-nite stand. But then she fall in love to that guy. Deeply in love. So deep that it hurts her and made her confused. She asked me, "Just one sex, and I become like this??? It is not like I never had sex before!"

I just listen. "Then what do you wanna do?", I asked.

"Last nite, I sms him. I told him how I feel, that I loved him so much and it hurts me.", she said.

"Did he replied?", I asked.

"He called me. He said that he is sorry that he do not have the same feeling toward me.", She said. I looked into her watery eyes. "But then he said, he's not going to freak out and run away from me. As long as I want to be his friend, I can have whatever feeling I want, but I should never force him to love me back. He said, no one can force love.", she continued.

I just looked at her. I can't say much. Indeed, no one can force love. She can't force herself NOT to love him, and he can't force himself to love her, even though they already had sex.

"What you wanna do now? Leave him?", I asked.

She said, "I have no reason to break my friendship with him. He accepted me as friend, and that's a good thing. I don't have to chase him since he's not running away. I dunno what to do! Tell me something...."

"Hmmm... Let's just let things goes naturally, I guess.", I said.

Till today, they are still friends. Till today, she still loved him and only get deeper. Till today, he told her that he does not have the same feeling, but will not run away simply because she loved him.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Marshmallow Test

Previously published in Myspace dated Saturday, May 05, 2007

In 1960's, a psychologist Walter Mischel had run a project to correlate impulse control among four-year olds to their success in academic achievement. The test was simple. Put a four-year old in a room, with a plate of one marshmallow. Tell that kid, if he/she don't take it until an adult came in, he/she will be given two marshmallows. Some kids took the single marshmallow the second the tester left the room. Others tried to restrain him/her self by singing, walking in circle, or even tried to pretend to sleep to avoid the temptation of that single marshmallow. Twenty to thirty minutes later, the rewards given to those who can restrain him/herself - they were given two marshmallows.

10 years down the road, the progress of those kid were evaluated again. Supprisingly, those kids who waited patiently at the age of four, were having much higher score in their test and were more eager to learn in the classroom. Those who has waited the longest scored the highest amoung those kids under test. This project was named "The Marshmallow Test". (Source: Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman, Chapter 6).

I received an SMS from a lady friend yesterday around noon. It reads, "My friend asked me to joined them for a wild sex party at a hotel, starting 3pm today. She was very persuasive. I'm afraid I can't bare the temptation. I haven't had sex for a while now...."

I read the SMS and smile. I know her friend, and yes she is a very-very persuasive type of a person. But can my lady friend resist the tempation like the four-year old resist the single marshmallow's temptation? I looked at the clock and told myself, they probably checked out the hotel the next day by twelve noon. I'll contact her at 1pm after the check-out time to see whether she joined that sex party or not... That would be very interesting.

I know her very well. She has a very high sexual drive, and from what she had told me before, only her boyfren can satisfy her. Now, those statement is being tested by the temptation of something that most people only heard of as rumours. For most people, wild sex party among friends are something unthinkable or perhaps bring shiver to the spine. Simple rules applied. Everyone can come with a friend of an opposite gender, but no spouse or regular partner to avoid jelousy. Keep secret. No drugs, but afrodasiacs are OK. Bisexuality and partner changing would be expected. A definate orgy with at least 3 or 4 pairs per bed.

Can she pass this marshmallow test? Can she resist this wild sex party? Sex wise, this is like resisting ten marshmallows and patiently waited for two. Some people may ask me, why don't I stop her? Simple. I just want to see whether she can decide for her own good, whether she has a good judgement. I will still look at her as who she is whether she joined that party or not.

At around 1am, she sms me, telling me some normal news. I was still awake that time. Nothing sexual. My guess, she did not go to the party, otherwise she should still be in that orgy thing. They won't stop the orgy till morning for sure. At about 9am, I replied her sms. I asked, "Did you joined the sex party yesterday?" She never lied to me before. She replied an hour later, "Nope, I went to the room, and realize that it is not for me anymore. So I left."

I guess, she passed the marshmallow test. I'm looking forward 10 years from now, to see whether she can be a successful person. Deep inside me tells me that she could.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

She Has Lots Of Dicks

Previously published in Myspace dated Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I was reading newspaper at the cosy corner in my office. We had this corner at our office for anyone to take a break from the tense of working. There are some chess and backgammon, but no one play them. I guess it takes too long to finish a game, that no one bother. But most times, we would prefer to have a casual informal meeting there compared to our regular meeting room.

That time there were a few of us, guys and gals. I wasn't really sure what everyone was debating about. Everyone simply talk nonsense to release tension.

"Hey, we women don't need man laa... we have everything.", says one of the ladies.

"Oh yeah?? Everything?? Well, we have d*ck. You don't.", says one of the guys. Some laughed. Some giggled. The lady's face turned red and just don't know what to say...

"C'mon... You have only one d*ck. She can have all the d*cks she wants with her p*ssy.", I said while still reading my newspaper. Then I turn to her, "Don't worry, his is size S. Just a bit longer than your cl*t. No one actually notice the difference"...


End of argument... Wheww... Now I can read my newspaper in peace...

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Currencies For Sex

Previously published in Myspace dated Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I had lunch with a lady friend. Our usual conversation is about men who tried to win her. That day was no exception. In particular, we were talking about one particular guy who did a lot of things for more than 2 years. At one time, that guy seems to be closed enough to win her heart, but then did something foolish that made her mad.

"I think, he just wanna win you like a trophy", I said. "All he wanted was sex, and as soon as he got that from you, he'll announce it to all his friends...", I said again. Actually, I knew that guy. I met him few times. At one time, he kiss this lady friend of mine on the cheek, and the next day, almost everyone in his office knew about it. To add salt to the wound, everyone in his office knew her... But I have to admire his persistence, coz he tried to get her for more than 2 years now.

"Yeah, I know. As soon as he got me in bed, not only everyone he knew will know about it, but also everyone in my office too.", she chuckled. I just laughed.

"Ok, let see. For the past 2 years, what had he done? Let's list them down.". I said when we done laughing.

"Hmmm...", she was kind of thinking. "He told me sad stories many times, saying that his wife has menopauses laa, lonely laa, you know those kind of stories...."

"Hmmm... that's the sympathy technique. But later you also found out that he had a second wife, right?", I said.

"Ha ha ha! Yeah... I almost fall for that!", she said. "What else had he tried?", I asked.

"Hmmmm... He wanted to see my parents, and bring me and my daughter to some amusement park for holiday...". Yup, she already separated.

"You didn't fall for that?", I asked. "Heck no! I'll never get him to meet my parents or my daughter. At one time, my daughter and I had lunch at Mc Donald when he came by. My daughter was actually freaked out!". We laughed again. I met her daughter in a couple of occasions. We even made wrist beads together. Cute little fella. "OK, that is winning-your-heart-thru-your-love-ones technique. What else had he tried?"

"Hmmm... let see... He belittles me, saying that I'm a frigid and not good in bed. So, I should prove to him how good I am by sleeping with him... Ha ha ha...", she laughed, I laughed. "That's... err... the reverse psychology technique...", I said, still laughing.. "What else?"

"Hmmm.. Aaaa, I remember this one. He said if I had sex with him, I will be sooo satisfied and will not want sex for few months. You remember that, right? You had that in your blog", she said. Yup I did wrote about that in one of my earlier writings. My comment for that was, if a women is so satisfy with a man, she may wanted to do it more frequent than once in a few months. "He he he... Hmm... what should we call that... the Try-me!-try-me! technique? ha ha ha...."

"Haiii... entah la... One thing for sure, he'll never get me thru sex.", she said. I just looked at her and smile. "Yup, you are one hell of a trophy if he ever gets you..."

I guess, that guy need some other currencies to exchange with sexual experience with her. Sound coarse, but that's how I look at the situation between that guy and her. That guy was trying to buy sexual experience with her using whatever technique mentioned above as the currencies.

"So, what actually he should do if he wants to have you up to the point of having sex?" I asked, bluntly. And she did tell. Hmmm... I won't tell here, but that guy missed by miles!


The Kind Of Love That Prevent Sex

Previously published in Myspace dated Saturday, April 14, 2007

She looked sad. Too sad for such a beautiful person. Any poet will write about gloominess and darkness when looking at her at that moment. She is a divorcee with no kid. Still looked young and beautiful in her early 30's.

"You should be re-married." I don't know how many times I told her that. Sometime she will give me a killer looks when I said about re-marry. There was one time she just lashed out with anger at me non-stop for more than 10 minutes. Hey! It is a fact that a couple of Datuk did mentioned to her of their intention to take her as a wife, while her current boyfriend has no intention at all to tie any kind of knot.

"If I can have sex with another person other than my boyfriend, I will re-marry.", she said in her sadness. "You know what? I can't even kiss another person. It is not that I haven't try. But I just can't." She almost have tears in her beautiful eyes.

She had told me once, at a time when she was very horny, she let a guy friend who had been hiting on her for quite a while into her apartment. After a while, that guy was all naked waist down, but she just can't continue. The kissing had no feeling. The touching had no electricity. The foreplay had no passion. Politely, she asked him to leave and luckily he did.

"You are one of the person I know who is a very-very sexually active. You need sex all the time. The problem is that your boyfrend can't spend time with you, right?", I asked. She just nodded sadly.

"That why I said, it would be better if you just get married. Any one of those men who likes you is much better than your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend is a jerk", she said quietly. "But he is the jerk who I loved so much. Two hours I spend with him is much better than two years I had with my ex-hubby. I have never loved anyone like I love him. I have never had sex with anyone like the sex I had with him. You tell me now... How am I supposed to get marry if I'm not capable to have sex with any other man but him?", she looked into my eyes with a question that is more like a slap in my face. "I can't even kiss another man, damn-it!", she almost cry.

In a way, I pitied her. Her love for that one man gave her the strength she has now in her difficult moment in life. But the same love had close other doors of possibility that she simply can't enter without getting herself hurt.

I just sighed... I guess, there are some stones that are better left unturned, some questions that are better left unanswered...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Don't Cum Already!

Previously published in Myspace dated Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Some people just born with high libido, that making love is a matter of routine of the same degree as breathing. Sex is *the* air.

I had this conversation with a lady friend, who is such a person with high sexual drive. The problem is, her hubby always cum before she fully satisfied. Many times she had to seek the pleasure from a dildo in descrete while her hubby went to the toilet after sex, and get caught red-handed few times too.

"Ok, tell me in details how both of you do it.", I said.

"I like to lick. So I will lick his whole body during foreplay. He will lick me too..."

"Hmmm... then?", I listened to her seriously, playing a shrink role.

"Then he entered, and we have our intercourse laa... Usually, we'll start with him on top."

"Hmmm... then he shoot?", I asked, still serious...

"Not really... After we finished with that, he will pull out so that I will be on top.", she explained.

"But I will lick him first. I like to lick... he he he...", she gigled. "Not long after I'm on top, he'll cum. Very frustrating you know..."

"No wonder he shoot early... he he he...", I can't help it but laughed a bit.

"What did I do wrong?", She just looked puzzled.

"You over stimulate him, dear..." I explained. "Next time, try this. When he pulled out for you to change position, get him to lick you before you sit on him, not the other way round. You will only suck him when he gets limped.", I said.

"Oh... like that... But I enjoy licking him. He enjoyed it too".

"Of cause he did. Who wouldn't?", I smiled.

We never talked about her hubby being shooting too early after that conversation. I guess, small modification can make a big difference, even in sex...


Love, Sex or Fear?

Previously published in Myspace dated Sunday, March 25, 2007

I had a chat with a lovely lady friend. She had one of those things you keep deep inside you, something dark, and you can't just talk about it to anyone. So you'll keep it to yourself.

She had a friend during her university years. Her friend was beautiful and very smart. At that time, everyone will say that she will be a successful person with bright future.

Well... That was before she started going out with this young and handsome taxi driver. They were getting serious, until one day a lady barged into their classroom, shout her name, and gave her a big slap in her face in front of all her classmates.

That lady was that young and handsome taxi driver's wife...

And where was the hubby during that ordeal? He was driving taxi somewhere...

Did she broke up with him? Yes... for about a month. Then they started to get together again. All he did was to sweet talk her and promise whatever a man has to promise to get a girl's legs spread apart.

Not long after that, she started to cut classes. During semester break, instead of going back home, she'll spend time with the guy in chalet where that guy will bring food during meal time. All all they did was eat, shit, and sex.

Hmmmmmm... Love-birds, that what people call it these days, no? More like a sparrow and a vulture they were... So sweet....

I told my lady friend, that her friend was deeply fall in love with that guy. Sex made her too deep in love, and love made her unable to think straight. She will never listen to anyone. My lady friend just have to agree, because she had tried to talk to her friend, but her friend never listen..

Now, that lady at the age of 27, work as something that a UPSR graduates usually do, staying with that boyfriend without any wedlock, and have to endure daily beatings from her so-called lover. She has aborted at least twice.

She feels that she has nowhere to go but to stick with him. For what? Love? Sex? Or fear to be alone?

My lady friend told me that a good guy had proposed to take her as a lawfully wedded wife, but she rejected, cited that she has no feelings toward that good guy.

Fear of the unknown? Will it better to live in known shitty situation than to venture into the unknown? Changes need a huge courage in us as human. Only the strong-willed person will be brave enough to make a life affecting changes, no?

I put myself in her shoe. She had been robbed of all her strength, courage, hope and faith towards life ever since she was slapped in that classroom years ago. I'm not supprised that she can't change her life... She has no courage. She has been very weak to make any decision... Sigh...

Honey, We Just Had Sex. Can We Talk?

Previously published in Myspace dated Sunday, March 25, 2007

A psychologist once recommended that the best formula for a complaint is "XYZ": "When you did X, it made me feel Y, and I'd rather you did Z instead."

For example, you can complaint to your partner, "When you doze off right after you sprayed your sweet and sour sauce all over the bed, it made me feel alone and abandoned. I'd rather you cuddle me tight and talk nicely and lovingly to me."

During those episodes, I know what you have in mind is to say, "You are a thoughtless, self-centered bastard!"... Ha ha ha... Wanna talk after sex? Talk to the hand...

The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common that it has become a cultural joke.

Ordinarily, after ejaculation, a man normally has no further interest in sexual activity of any kind. Physically, for a period of ten minutes to perhaps more than an hour for some men, the man is physically unable to achieve another erection. This is sometimes referred to as the Male Refractory Period (MRP).

Ejacuation drained energy, and mostly assumed to be the end of arousal and lovemaking, so much so that the French call it le peit mort – "the little death". It is during this period that you'll see your partner lost interest in you right after he unloaded. He seems to have more interest in the pillow than to you.

I guess, even the great emperor Shih Huang Ti have the same question that being asked by millions of women, "Why men slept right after sex?" (Shih Huang Ti was the emperor of China who unified the 7 states, standardize the chinese alphabets, and built the great wall. He was considered the first emperor of china).

"After ejaculation a man is tired, his ears are buzzing, his eyes are heavy and he longs for sleep... In ejaculation he experiences a brief second of sensation but long hours of weariness as a result. On the other hand, if a man reduces and regulates his ejaculation to an absolute minimum, his body will be strengthened, his mind at ease and his vision and hearing improved. Although the man seems to have denied himself an ejaculatory sensation at times, his love for his woman will greatly increase."
-P'eng Tsu (Taoist Master to Emperor Huang Ti) ", Secrets of the Jade Chamber", circa 200 BCE

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Why Aren't You Cumming, Dear?

Published in Mayspace dated Saturday, March 24, 2007

A lady friend once told me how stressful she was when having sex with her hubby. I was driving her from the air port when an innocent conversation took a turn to that red district. Don't blame me, I drove the car and she drove the conversation...

"Hmm...", I just looked at her. "Sex is a stress reliever, not a source of stress", I said while glancing at her.

"Just imagine, I've tried everything, but he couldn't cum. I know he also tried so hard to cum, but in the end, we just called it off...". I burst into laughter. Loud at first, and ended with a long chuckle. She was not laughing at all. She was dead serious.

After I relaxed myself a bit, still with that evil smile, I asked, "How long was it? Did you come?" "Almost one and half hours! Penat tau... I memang la cum a couple of times... I dunno laa, I've tried everything, and nothing works." I knew she think that it was her fault that her hubby can't shoot. She thought that she was not attractive anymore. She thought that she was not good enough anymore. She thought that she was not tight anymore.

And... She believed that her hubby also thought the same, that she was not attractive, not good enough in bed, and not tight anymore. That's where the stress and frustration came from. Hmmm... I guess sex is not a simple matter for some couples.

"Look", I said. "You and your hubby should look at sex from a different perspective.". I glanced at her and saw her wrinkled her forehead. "Your hubby don't need cum. Men don't need to ejacuate when having sex. Ejaculation and orgasm are two different things. He can have orgasm without ejaculation", I said.

"Is that true? If men don't ejaculate, if the sperms doesn't go out, won't it cause any problems in men?", she asked.

"It is not like he can't shoot at all for the whole year, right?", I said.

"Hmmm... Perhaps you can look at sex as a journey that both you and your hubby travelled together. The journey may started when you hold hands with your hubby, rub the back of his head and smile, and then he carass the length of your arm, you know, those long foreplay thingy... Then you started having sexual intercourse, with whatever positions you have... till the end, right"

"See... the journey is long. The ending just few seconds. So enjoy the long journey..". "As far as the ejaculation, just take it as a bonus. If it happen, then good for both of you. If it doesn't, just enjoy the long sexual intercourse and finish it up with cuddling and sweet talking each other."

"This is wierd.. Don't you men need to ejaculate?", she asked, again.... "It is not a must in every intercourse. When you and your hubby believe that ejacuation is a must, then both of you become stressed out when ejacuation did not happen.", I said.

"If both of you can accept that ejaculation is not a neccessity, your sexual journey will be more pleasant and enjoyable...", I said.

I know that it is difficult for her to take that, let alone to get her hubby to agree. Our society is rooted with the belief that men must ejaculate during a sexual intercourse. So, when it doesn't happen, both the partners stressed out.


Friday, June 25, 2010

Orgasm, Or The Lack Of It...

Published in Myspace, dated Sunday, March 18, 2007

I had a lady friend who was married for 6 years, had a child, got divorved, had a sexual relationship with a boyfriend for 2 years, but told me that she only experienced orgasm once in her whole lifetime.

I had another lady friend who had sex with her boyfriend for 2 years, practically had sex once a day throughtout those 2 years period, but never had a single orgasm until she had sex with another guy. Only then she know what orgasm is all about.

Can that really happen????

Want Threesome, Hubby Dear?

Published in Myspace dated Thursday, March 15, 2007

It was my day off due to a night work. After taking my morning nap, I decided to have lunch with this lady friend who I haven't see for a long time.

"I'm very frustrated with my hubby.". Hmmm... here we go again. Few months back, we had this conversation when she complainted about her hubby inability to hold his gun long enough to allow her to reach her orgasm. Don't get her wrong. She is faithful enough to her hubby, and will only have sex with her hubby and no one else. But she just don't know how to talk to her hubby without hurting his feeling.

"Why? What happen?", I asked out of curiosity.

"Me and my hubby had a threesome with a friend of mine.". At that point, my jaw fall on the jubin floor. Slowly, I collected my fallen jaw, fitted it back in, and readjusted my usual poker face. It's hard. With that kind of line opening, I simply can't hide my reaction.

"MMF or FFM?", I asked. "FFM", she said, meaning two females and a male. The male must be her hubby.

"So what's wrong", I asked, "Sounds like you guys having fun... Why do you feel frustrated?".

"My hubby seems like ignoring me. He spent more time with that girl, and that girl pulak... iieeeee... geram nyer... always manja-manja ngan my hubby. They acted like I was not there. Frust betul!!!". I smiled. If she's not there, I may had laughed my lungs out, perhaps rolling few rounds on that jubin floor.

Then she kept on talking on how she persuaded her hubby into having a threesome. How she thought that it will spice up their sex life. How she met that girl. How she made all the arrangement to have that happen. How they started. And how, looking at the whole act between her hubby and that girl, get her into frustration. I just sit there, listening.

"You know what?", I said. "You shouldn't have done that". She looked at me. Then I asked, "You want to know why?". She raised her shoulder.

"First, your sexual relationship with your hubby is not strong enough. You still can't discuss your sexual problem with your hubby. Adding another person between you and your hubby will just make you problem bigger.". This time, I talked, she listened.

"Second, you have a hugh jealousy issue. If you want threesome, you cannot have jealousy. Period.". She protested, "But he spent more time with her than with me. And that girl, eiiii... ngada-ngada betul... all the time nyondol-nyondol my hubby. Didn't she realize that he is my hubby?? Sapa yang tak jealous kalau gitu".

I just smiled. I don't feel like laughing anymore."Then it goes to the first reason just now. Your sexual relationship with your hubby is not strong enough. Not only that, your normal relationship with your hubby also not that strong. If you and your hubby are already sexually strong with each other, he won't threated you like that, will he? In fact, if you and your hubby's sexual relationship is strong, you don't need to have that girl in the first place, do you?".

"I dunno la.. I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life."

"Yes you have.". I wasn't smiling anymore.

I hoped I managed to talked to her not to repeat that crazy thing she did. What she did may just be the beginning of their broken marriage... let's hope it's not...

Before we left, I gave her a last piece of advice. "Next time, if you and your hubby want to have a threesome, have a threesome with a dildo or a vibrator... or me!". NOT! I was joking...

She just gave a wicked smile and left...


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Man Who Lied To Have Sex

Published in Myspace dated Monday, March 12, 2007

I had lunch with a lady friend today. A light lunch. I had meehoon soto, and she had mee kari. I haven't had lunch with her for a very long time, so we had a lot to catch-up with each other.

While having our lunch, she told me about this guy who is 15 years older than her. She is 33, and he is 48. He did everything to win her heart. Bought he jewelry, fix her broken watch, accompany her to karaoke, drive her around... Everything...

He said that his wife can no longer function sexually, already reached her menopause. His wife is at the same age as him, and his children already big. So he is kinda lonely.

Many nights that this guy had been calling her, telling her how much he wanted to have sex with her, how much he wanted to make her feel good. He even described how the sex scene will be from start to end. Phone sex in essence. Lately, he started to go to the gym to harden all the loosed muscles. Ha ha ha..

So this lady friend told me, "I didn't ask, but people had been telling me lately. One guy told me that he actually has 2 wives. Another guy told me that he is currently having an affair with his receptionist. So I confronted him last week... I even mentioned to him the name of his wives and receptionist.. He just stunned there, unable to talk."

I guess man will do anything to have sex with a woman, including lying.

Forced Sex

Published in Myspace dated Sunday, March 11, 2007

Rape. One of those thing that should not had happen to anyone. For those who had experienced it, it is a very traumatic experience that will change life. To those who had not, it seems to be something that will only happen to someone else. While to the rest, it is just statistics and topics of debate.

Two of my lady friends told me of their experience of being raped. Both lost their virginity to rapist. Both knew their rapist. Both were unconcious while being rape by being given drugged drinks. Both life changed completely after being raped.

The first lady friend was raped when she was in college. Being drugged by her own group of closed friends, she was unconcious at all throughout the whole ordeal. When she woke up, she had nothing on her. But she knew something was wrong. She wore her cloths, and went out of the room, and there they are in the living room, her group of close friends, guys and girls. All seems worried.

"I'm sorry, I don't know that you are a virgin.". She slapped his face, and went out. Her life changed since then. She started not too care so much about not having sex. She had sex with few guys, some for money and others just for fun. She had a couple of virgin guys under her belt. For her, there is nothing to protect anymore. It's all gone.

She's a street smart too, so she planned her take revenge her own way. She practically pimped the ex-closed friend (one of the girls in the living room) for rm600. She just sweet talk that girl into having sex with this guy she knew, and asked that guy for rm600. There you go. Your cunt sold for rm600. Ha ha ha... But I'm sure she was not laughing... She was crying inside....

Now she's living in with her boyfriend. She told her boyfriend of being raped, but never other sexual encounters. Her boyfriend was a virgin. Now she had to make him happy. She feels that she had to keep him, so she did everything for him to make him stay. She said, she has no choice. I see what happen to her as the cost of being raped. She paid it with her life.

The second lady friend who told me her story was raped when she was in form 4, by a neighbour's son. She was given a soft-drink, and the next thing she knew, she had been raped. The stupid boy was just panicking and sit by a corner. She told her dad, and that stupid boy gets a good bash. His wound was only on the flesh. Hers was much deeper.

Since then, her life changed. She went from one boyfriend to another. She dumped guys for the simplest and trivial reason. By the time we had our talk that night, she told me that she had sex with no less than 16 guys, at least 10 of them were virgins. I just looked into her eyes. I guess nothing will supprise me anymore.

She had been married once, the 15th guy, but now divorced. She had been proposed twice by a good guy to be taken as a wife, but she seems to feel very uncertain. She rejected both proposals. When I tried to talk to her into accepting that guy's proposal, she just let her anger out on me. A couple of jokes later, she cooled down. Inside her, I knew that she had been broken beyond repair.

Rape. One of those thing that should not had happen to anyone. For those who had experienced it, it is a very traumatic experience that will change life. To those who had not, it seems to be something that will only happen to someone else. While to the rest, it is just statistics and topics of debate. me, it is something that I wish I'll never see happen to another soul...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sex And Love

Published in Myspace dated Saturday, March 10, 2007

I took a time-off one afternoon to have a teh-tarik with a lady friend I barely knew. She said she's coming by. Since my work load was very light and under control, so I decided to take a break. We had the teh tarik nearby where I work.

She started her story almost immediately after we sat down. Starting from the time she get raped while in college, almost all her sexual experiences with guys, and her current live-in boyfriend. I just sip my teh tarik and listen, passing comments as and when appropriate to help her story ran smooth. At all time, I just maintain my poker face, not to show too much emotional reaction.

She had live-in with her boyfriend for almost 2 years at that time. They had sex almost everyday. When she had period, she just blow him. She will just ensure that he will unload. I kept my poker face.

"When you had sex with him, do you climax often?", I asked. "Rare", she said. "I'm one of those who are hard to reach orgasm.". I kept my poker face. "If I want to have orgasm, I'll have to use my vibrator. That's the only way. Maybe I masturbate too much since puberty that makes me hard to reach orgasm.". I kept my poker face. Grin...

"Do you love him?", I asked.


"He's all I got now, and I'm not thinking to be with any other guys.". "Did you ever think of marrying him?". "His mom don't like me.". Sigh.

There I was. Listening to this lady who couldn't really enjoy what she was doing, wouldn't really understand how she felt toward her boyfriend, and didn't really know what's the ending of all those.

Maybe she did enjoy doing all those that she did to her boyfriend. Being there for him. Taking care of him. Ensure that all his needs fulfilled. Maybe she thought, that's what love all about.

For me, she's just traded sex with companionship. Love was never there...

When Sex Is Too Important For Her

Published in Myspace dated Monday, February 19, 2007

I had a conversation with this new lady friend. Actually, she was not yet a friend, because we had never met before that. We ordered a glass of teh tarik each and a set of roti bakar. It was about 11pm. Another round of teh tarik later, it was already 7am.

During that long conversation, she talked about her ordeal with her abusive husband. Her husband had an affair with another woman, and would dare to bring his affair home while she is in the house. Her husband's affair even dare to scold her in her own house while her husband watching.

Being hit was kind of normal. At one time, she even miscarriaged after being hit so bad. Until now her family never knew about the miscarriage because she never told them that she was having a baby. She would rather talk to an unknown stranger.

When I asked, why don't you leave him? Why don't you bring him to courts? She said, she did that already. In fact, a court case is still ongoing at that time. But she doesn't want to be separated from her husband. I asked why. She said, it is because of sex.

She had a colourful sex life before marriage, in which she had no regret. But, after she met her then abusive husband, she knew she can't live without the kind of sexual experience she had with him. She knew that, she will die with sexual hunger if he were to leave her. She would rather be abused, because no man can match what her then abusive husband capable of. Not that she have not tried, but other men is simply not her "level".

Dumb? I guess not. For some people, sex is just being far too important than anything else..

Any happy ending to this story? As I watched from afar, her life still going on. She is still young in her 20's. What I know is that she is now trying to file for Takliq, which means her husband can never rujuk back. She lives alone on her two feet. Her husband, from time to time, tried to talk her out of that takliq process. He also apparently can't find sexual fulfillment from other women he slept with.

And so, life goes on…


Why Arr You Ladies Like That???

Published in Myspace dated Saturday, February 17, 2007

I was working almost all night long last night, came back home, sleep, woke up, checkout myspace, and about getting ready to take my journey to balik kampung for the long CNY weekend when I just remember this conversation with a lady friend. Put down my luggage, turn on my PC, log into myspace and wrote this... ..

Why arr you ladies, after you broke out with your boyfriend, you must ask back all the gifts you ever gave? Almost all lady-friends I know do exactly that. No matter whether it is a wallet, shirt, g-string, cap, mug, book, tie... everything! Why?? Why??

To erase memories?? Cannot continue living with the thought that he is happy using your gifts? Why?? Hmmm.... What are you ladies gonna do with 'em ex-gifts when you get 'em back? One lady said, she just wanna burn them to ashes. Another said that she just wanna give them to other friends... wallauwehh...

Actually, me and my lady friend were laughing when we talked about this during our lunch at Mc Donald's. May be it is in female genes being passed from moms to daughters that cause this quite a uniform universal act of revenge.

So next time I receive a gift from a friend of an opposite gender, I'll ask... Is this a returned ex-gift? Ha ha...

Come to think about it, I did received an ex-gift like that before... the rubik cube... Hmmm... I'll be damn...


A Short Chat About Sex

Published in Myspace dated Saturday, February 17, 2007

I was having lunch the other day with a lady friend. Casual talk about life, about this and about that. Suddenly, we talked about sex. Just a little. Don't get it wrong. Talking about sex with an opposite gender doesn't mean that sexual relationship is there. It just means that we are comfortable enough to talk about sex in the open.

I asked something along the line of what she don't like the most about having sex with her ex. Yes, they no longer together. No, I'm not replacing him. She said, the sessions were very short, and he fall asleep right after. I just chuckled. He he he...

I was about to say something to her when my phone rang. It so happened that another colleague wanna asked about the nasi goreng she asked to tapau. Sheez... So, I just swallowed what I wanna say to her, as we have to hurry back to the office.

I wanna tell her this. Men in general, after unloading his semen, will find that the pillow is much cuter then his partner face... Ha ha ha...

There you go... My fren, if you happen to read this, that's what I meant to say when we left that eating place...


Pushing For Sex...

Published in Myspace, Dated Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I just came back from a night works, something that I have to do quite frequently lately. When I reached home, I saw a new SMS on my mobile, coming from a close lady friend. I always have my SMS on silence mode for the obvious reason... he he he.. Her message was simple. She had a big fight with this guys who is pushing her for sex. So I went to my study room, and called her. It was 1:30am.

We had a conversation. As usual, she will talk and I will listen, passing comments as and when needed. I can hear her. Not only to what she says, but also to how she feels. Frustration. Anger. Disappointment. All in one.

What's wrong with men? Can't take "no" for an answer? Will it be satisfying to have sex with someone who is half-willing? Will it be victorious when the sex partner who later regret having sex or even know you?

C'mon guys! Sex is not everything in a friendship. If it happen, it happen. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't matter. Pushing for sex will just degrade the pusher to the level of a brainless nincompoops who think with his dick.

Girls! When you say "no", mean it or at least try to sound like you mean it... Pretty please...



Sex With Body And Soul

Published in Myspace, dated Friday, February 09, 2007

My close friend, who was married, once told me, "Sex in marriage life only sweet during the first five years. After that, it just become a boring routine..."

I told her, "My first five years of sexual experience was the most boring one. Now, not anymore...". She just stare at me, and changed the topic.... hehehe...

Sex is not only for *that* small part of our body. Sex is not simply a routine of repeatative movement which end with an "Arrghhhhh" that gets quieter and quieter over the years...... After several years, it simply becomes, "Dah???"

Let your eyes have sex too. Look at your partner, don't just shut your eyes and imagine having sex with someone else. Look at every facial impressions, every body movements, every lip-biting, every eye-staring. Smile seducely whi your partner look at you.

Let your ears have sex too. Moan, cry, make sensual noise. And guys, you can do that too. Don't just keep quiet. Don't be shy of making sexual noise. The neighbor? Let them jealous!

Let your nose have sex too. Make youself smell nice. Take bath and clean yourself before sex. Spray some perfume. Burn some aromatherapy oil. C'mon... No fun having sex when your partner is smelly!

Let your touch have sex too. Caress every inch of your partner's body. Hallo... every inch, not only the breast, ok. Soft touch, the kind that almost not touching. Be gentle.

Our energy goes to where our mind is. When we not focusing only at our genitals, the sexual energy produced during love-making will just spread out to the entire body as our mind went from eyes to finger to ears to nose to eyes to the touch of the skin to.... everywhere... No longer that energy just confined to the small area of genitalia coz that is where our mind usually is.

Then, just prepare for a whole body orgasm, not just that small part of your body. That, is sex with your body and soul...