Monday, June 28, 2010

The Kind Of Love That Prevent Sex

Previously published in Myspace dated Saturday, April 14, 2007

She looked sad. Too sad for such a beautiful person. Any poet will write about gloominess and darkness when looking at her at that moment. She is a divorcee with no kid. Still looked young and beautiful in her early 30's.

"You should be re-married." I don't know how many times I told her that. Sometime she will give me a killer looks when I said about re-marry. There was one time she just lashed out with anger at me non-stop for more than 10 minutes. Hey! It is a fact that a couple of Datuk did mentioned to her of their intention to take her as a wife, while her current boyfriend has no intention at all to tie any kind of knot.

"If I can have sex with another person other than my boyfriend, I will re-marry.", she said in her sadness. "You know what? I can't even kiss another person. It is not that I haven't try. But I just can't." She almost have tears in her beautiful eyes.

She had told me once, at a time when she was very horny, she let a guy friend who had been hiting on her for quite a while into her apartment. After a while, that guy was all naked waist down, but she just can't continue. The kissing had no feeling. The touching had no electricity. The foreplay had no passion. Politely, she asked him to leave and luckily he did.

"You are one of the person I know who is a very-very sexually active. You need sex all the time. The problem is that your boyfrend can't spend time with you, right?", I asked. She just nodded sadly.

"That why I said, it would be better if you just get married. Any one of those men who likes you is much better than your boyfriend."

"My boyfriend is a jerk", she said quietly. "But he is the jerk who I loved so much. Two hours I spend with him is much better than two years I had with my ex-hubby. I have never loved anyone like I love him. I have never had sex with anyone like the sex I had with him. You tell me now... How am I supposed to get marry if I'm not capable to have sex with any other man but him?", she looked into my eyes with a question that is more like a slap in my face. "I can't even kiss another man, damn-it!", she almost cry.

In a way, I pitied her. Her love for that one man gave her the strength she has now in her difficult moment in life. But the same love had close other doors of possibility that she simply can't enter without getting herself hurt.

I just sighed... I guess, there are some stones that are better left unturned, some questions that are better left unanswered...


  1. very touching story... nanged! :D

  2. good story! nanged as well!

  3. Henry, Huishi, Nina... Yeah, life is interesting, no?

  4. yeah... some words were left unspoken too.. :)

  5. u would't know the feel "trapped" ..silent killer..some words were left unspoken...i'm tired of it...poor girl...


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