Honey, We Just Had Sex. Can We Talk?

Previously published in Myspace dated Sunday, March 25, 2007




A psychologist once recommended that the best formula for a complaint is "XYZ": "When you did X, it made me feel Y, and I'd rather you did Z instead."


For example, you can complaint to your partner, "When you doze off right after you sprayed your sweet and sour sauce all over the bed, it made me feel alone and abandoned. I'd rather you cuddle me tight and talk nicely and lovingly to me."


During those episodes, I know what you have in mind is to say, "You are a thoughtless, self-centered bastard!"... Ha ha ha... Wanna talk after sex? Talk to the hand...


The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common that it has become a cultural joke.


Ordinarily, after ejaculation, a man normally has no further interest in sexual activity of any kind. Physically, for a period of ten minutes to perhaps more than an hour for some men, the man is physically unable to achieve another erection. This is sometimes referred to as the Male Refractory Period (MRP).


Ejacuation drained energy, and mostly assumed to be the end of arousal and lovemaking, so much so that the French call it le peit mort – "the little death". It is during this period that you'll see your partner lost interest in you right after he unloaded. He seems to have more interest in the pillow than to you.


I guess, even the great emperor Shih Huang Ti have the same question that being asked by millions of women, "Why men slept right after sex?" (Shih Huang Ti was the emperor of China who unified the 7 states, standardize the chinese alphabets, and built the great wall. He was considered the first emperor of china).


"After ejaculation a man is tired, his ears are buzzing, his eyes are heavy and he longs for sleep... In ejaculation he experiences a brief second of sensation but long hours of weariness as a result. On the other hand, if a man reduces and regulates his ejaculation to an absolute minimum, his body will be strengthened, his mind at ease and his vision and hearing improved. Although the man seems to have denied himself an ejaculatory sensation at times, his love for his woman will greatly increase."
-P'eng Tsu (Taoist Master to Emperor Huang Ti) ", Secrets of the Jade Chamber", circa 200 BCE