Saturday, July 10, 2010

What Will You Sacrifice For Love?

Previously published in Myspace dated Saturday, May 26, 2007

"I need to talk to someone. Are you free tonight?". That's the SMS I received on Wesnesday. I'm kinda ultra busy this week, that I went home late almost everyday. I didn't wish to go out when I'm too tired, so I have to decline. "Hai. Long time no hear. I'm kinda busy this week. How about Friday night?". She replied with an OK. So I have a date Friday night. Perfect.

I ordered my teh tarik while waiting for her. She arrived not long after, and ordered hers. I haven't met her for quite a while, and she looked as nice as always. "Hai, how's life", I said while she sit down. "I'm OK", she said. "You didn't sound OK a couple of days ago...", I said. She just smile... "I'm OK now..."

Then we started to talk about her work, her daughter, and her family. She is a divorcee with a beautiful daughter. Nothing suggested that those were the things she wanted to talk about when she SMS'ed me last Wednesday. She was going round-and-round, talking about other things instead of the things that really troubled her mind.

"Datuk S contacted me again.", she started. I knew her story about Datuk S. He had tried to lure her into the bed with him, but she politely said no. I always thought that the story ends there. "What about him. He troubled you again?", I asked. "No he didn't. We are just like friends now.", she said. I just looked at her in silence.

"You know I'm seeing someone now, right?", she said. I nodded.

"Long ago, when I was with my ex-boyfriend, he was in trouble. He defaulted his car installment, and was about to loose that car. So I went to Datuk S for help...", she was starring at her glass of teh tarik. "Then Datuk said, I have to give and take. So he took out his cheque book, and signed a thousand ringgit cheque right there and then. I felt so cheap and stupid. Then we went up to the room and had sex."

"Wasn't that your ex-boyfriend who broke up with you for that bohsia from JB, after which you tried to commit suicide?", I asked. I remembered her telling me her story some time ago. After that broke up, she request for a last meeting with that guy. She went to a pharmacy with him and bought a 10 strips of panadol. 10 piece per strip. Then they went to a mamak stall, and she popped all the 100 pieces of panadols in front of him, while he just watched in horror. Then he rushed her to the hospital where she got detoxed and admitted for a couple of weeks. However, they still broke up after that.

"Yup, it was him. He didn't even know where I got the money from. I just gave the money to him, bailing him out of his trouble. But I felt like a prostitute... so cheap... so stupid...", she still starring at her glass of teh tarik. So that's what troubled her since Wednesday. She need to talk to someone about her past, and make peace with herself. I just let her to deal with herself, her past.

"You just did what you think the best at that time, scarificing for something you believed as love. You probably can't think of any other way, but the obligation to help him to relief his pain.", I said, slowly. "While it was indeed very stupid, it is something that had happen in your past. You've learn from it, and had grown up out of it. You don't have to feel so bad now", I said.

"I know. Those episode keep playing in my head too frequently lately, and I just want to stop it. That's why I'm talking to you now. I hope it will stop.", she said. I really don't know how I can stop whatever that played in her head, but I just nodded in silence.

"It is just a memory. A bad memory nevertheless, but just a memory", I said. She nodded.

"Was he good?", I asked.

"Who? Datuk S?".

"Yup... Was he good in bed?", I asked again, with a grin.

"Ha ha ha... Not at all. He got a very small penis, and he had to take viagra before we started... I'm telling you the truth.", she chuckled. "And he's very rough too. He bite, clawed, and did all those rough things. He really don't know how to make love. Ha ha ha... I'll never have sex with him again", she chuckled again. That's the first time I saw her smile that night.

"Well... then there is nothing for you to remember about that past. Forget it and move on", I said. She just took a deep long breath, and exhaled. "Yeah.. I guess so.", she said.

We talked about other things after that, mostly about her current relationship with her new boyfriend. We departed not long after that, leaving me with a lot of thoughts.



  1. hah! i smell something fishy ;P

  2. u are somewhere near a market, perhaps?



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